Shabbos Table

One of the things we really want in our relationship is to know that the people we love trust us. If you’ve spent some time with them, you assume they know who you are and what you’re capable of. It hurts when they think and feels something about you that isn’t true or something that contradicts what you believe you’ve been portraying of yourself. You feel unseen and unheard. 

Parsha Shelack talks about the sin of the ten spies. It’s essential to remember that this would be the tenth sin of the Jews since leaving Egypt. It helps to appreciate that G-d might be His wit’s end by now.

I imagine Hashem was hurt and disappointed when the ten returned with news that implied G-d didn’t know what He was doing. They told Aaron and the others that the land G-d promised was unsafe. They said the fruits were bigger than anything imaginable, which was weird and probably not good. They said that their energies, the Amalek, the Canaanites, and the Amorite, were on the borders of Israel. They were afraid, and they cried so much so that Joshua and Caleb tore their shirts as a sign of morning. 

G-d had brought the ten plagues to free the Jews after 430 years of slavery. He parted a sea for them to cross and get to safety while killing their enemies in that sea. He gave them food – the manna – which tasted like anything they wanted then. He had carried them this far and proven himself over and over again as their savior, protector, and guide. Yet they didn’t trust him to continue to take care of their needs and keep them safe. 

The News of the Spies

Moses told them to look for these 5 specific things when spying in Israel– 

✅ Does the land have strong or weak people?

✅ How many people live there?

✅ Is the land good? 

✅ Is the land fertile?

✅ Bring back samples of the fruit.

They came back with scary news to deter everyone from going to Israel. The size of the giants scared them from going after their goal. They tried to destroy everyone else’s dreams, hopes, and goals in that fear.  

They spoke Lashon Hara against G-d, saying He brought them out of Egypt to kill them. 

In last week’s Parsha, we learned there is a punishment for speaking Lashon Hara. We are exiled, which is quite relatable now as no one wants to be around someone who gossips. That’s really negative energy that disrupts everyone. But they took this negativity with them around the tents as they tried to persuade the others to not go into Israel. 

Now, like every parent who misses nothing, G-d hears this. He probably thinks – “Oh, they just don’t learn,” as he recalls the many times he saved them, the nine times before when they sinned against him, and more recently, Miriam’s punishment for speaking Lashon Hara.

G-d had explicitly told them the land was flowing with milk and honey. He had promised their forefathers the land, and the only loyalty he was shown was from the women. The women had packed up in a rush to leave Egypt. They had packed musical instruments, which they played because they were excited to be freed. They didn’t worship the golden calf, and now, they didn’t budge to the spies attempts to persuade them. 

But what is G-d to do about the ten spies and the men they persuaded? 

Well, G-d wanted to kill them all. Instead, he decided the ten spies had to die. He couldn’t have their influence on the other children. Who knows what example he would set if he forgave these for bringing such negativity and disruption to the tribes (an entire people)? 

And the men who had seen his miracles but have tested him for the tenth time would not enter the land of Israel. They would wander the desert for another forty years. This would mean Joshua, Caleb, and the women made it to the land of milk and honey. 

But in the meantime, they would all have to turn back and remain in the desert for that 40 years. 

How unfair to everyone? However, a great time to pause and remember a time when someone shared their opinion on something you wanted. Maybe you wanted to be an artist, and they told you that you’d never make it. Perhaps you wanted to travel, and they told you it wasn’t worth the money and time, and you changed your mind. Now imagine someone depended on you to take them to that place, but because someone whispered discouraging thoughts in your ear, you changed your mind, and others got hurt too. 

Now think of a time when you shared your opinions with someone about what they wanted to do. Did it help them, or did it hurt them?

Now for the death of the spies, why couldn’t they get the same punishment? Why did G-d kill them? It’s because their sin was greater. They spoke terribly about Hashem and pretty much said He didn’t know what he was doing. In relationships, we get badly hurt when someone says something about us that contradicts who we are. We feel like they don’t know us. If they say bad things, especially with the deliberate aim to hurt us, we lose our trust and “kill” that relationship. And are going to try to keep our loved ones away from that person.

Now, the other Jews are worried. They wondered what would happen if Hashem got mad again. Would he punish them in the wilderness for another forty years? My son’s first fear is that I would take away the iPad for the weekend if he misbehaves. 

G-d pacifies the fears of the Jews by telling them they would take korbanos (sacrifice) when they enter the land of Israel. They relax and feel safe again, just as my son does when I tell him he’s not going to lose his iPad.

The Parsha goes on to talk about the mitzvah for making Challah. The piece of the bread is the Challah, and the Challah is to be given to the Kohan. Because they are tamei now (unclean), we burn the Challah.

Idol worshiping is punishable by keres (extension of the soul). But you can be forgiven if you mistakenly worshipped an idol. 

Note: In my profession, I speak with people who were betrayed by their exes, and they would all prefer to never hear or see that person again. So, I imagine that everyone would choose to sever all ties if their partner is not faithful.  

The Parsha also talks about a man who, after being warned, violated the law of Shabbat that forbids gathering, and this man piling up some sticks. He was then taken to Moses by a few who thought the man should be stoned, and Hashem agreed.

Note: You’re telling your kid to stop doing something, but they keep going. You warn them that it’s not a good idea to do that thing. They now suspect a punishment is coming, but they push the boundaries. Then the penalty comes. They didn’t know the discipline, but they don’t like it when it comes. Maybe because they thought you’d go softer. How rude to assume the goodness of your heart means a weakness on your part? 

Why men wear the tzitzis is discussed in this Parsha. It represents the 613 laws we are to obey. Now, if you constantly remind yourself how you should act and why you should, then there is less room for mistakes. 

I used to think it’s a shame I can’t wear tzitzis. It would be nice to be in constant reminder. But Hashem didn’t know we needed to remember because He has faith that we would never stray far from him. We had proven ourselves enough. He knows us. Maybe if He had instructed us to wear them, we would feel heartbroken, like when the spies said untrue things about him.

The last pasuk (verse) is said at the end of the Shema.

“I am Hashem, your G-d, Who has taken you out of the land of Egypt to be a G-d for you. I am Hashem, your G-d.”

You can feel the power and commitment in those two sentences. 

“I am Hashem.” – I am powerful, and you’ve seen it.

“your G-d.” – I’m on your side. I want to do what’s best for you. I will give you everything you need. You can trust me.

“Who has taken you out of the land of Egypt,” I showed you my power in Egypt. I’ve carried you and provided for you. I proved myself well and good. 

“I am Hashem, your G-d.” – I’m on your side. You are most precious to me. I will protect you. Be grateful. I am powerful. Don’t push me too much. I’m nice but don’t overdo it. I created you. I decide. But I love you. 

It’s a loaded message.

The overall theme of this Parsha is if we want a successful relationship with G-d, we must trust him. We should also have faith in him so that we are not blocking our path because we think we are in absolute control of what lies ahead. 

We have seen from the beginning of time; how faithful he’s been to us. All we have to do is remember to turn to him, ask and be grateful in knowing he will provide what He knows we need. 

It’s so important that we remember it’s a give and takes. We have to show up with sincerity and devotion, and we have to give and receive. 

The Sin of the Spies –

I wonder if it’s Lashon Hara to speak ill of the spies. Is it our place to harshly judge or can we empathize a little while acknowledging that they did offend Hashem properly.

For a minute – let’s look at their human error. I think this is noteworthy as we interact with people who will do “human” things daily and may just need our forgiveness. 👇👇👇

Trust becomes an issue when you’ve been beaten down over and over again. It takes time to build that trust again. 

430 years of being slaves meant they didn’t really know Hashem as generations before. Moses didn’t know much of Hashem as he grew up with Egyptian G-ds. However, he was a Jew at heart because there was always a part of him defending Jewish slaves. In fact, he had to run away because he killed an Egyptian guard for beating a Jewish slave. 

Hashem appeared in Egypt when the Jews remembered calling out to him. But I’m guessing by now, Hashem coming back is like a father who feels neglected and forgotten. But this is Hashem, He loves us, so he shows up and gives his best. On the other hand, the Jews probably wondered why Hashem didn’t comd to help them sooner. Seeing his power, we can imagine that they realize G-d could swoop in 430 years ago and save them. 

Also, if G-d could perform those miracles, there was no need to have them walk the wilderness. He could have sent a wind, and they would wake up in their own mansions in Israel. 

They were blinded by their fear and doubt. They didn’t realize that G-d comes to those who call out to him sincerely. Testing also happens, and these guys failed that test a lot. 

But I can appreciate they have some trust issues. 

G-d, like a parent, says, – I’ve proven myself even when you were a complaining bratty set of children. I’m still here, and so are you.