Shabbos Table

We usually question G_d when times are difficult and especially when people are hurt. Suffering provokes anger and hurt and when we feel helpless, we question G-d. Sadly more often than not we reach out and ask him to stop in and help by giving us the faith to accept the things we cannot understand or appreciate.

I believe we can understand G-d’s ways if we have built a relationship with him to ask these questions and listen to what he says through his essence that flows within us all.

I cannot think of us acting differently if we knew what the future looked like. We would all be spending time making some hard and painful decisions as we move pieces in place to have the best possible outcome for the absolute greater good. I would imagine it’s not an easy effort to create the perfect world to come for us all.

I would rather empathize with G-d because, as a creator of very small and insignificant things, it’s painful to destroy them. I cannot stand to know my children are in pain. What must he be going through to watch so many of us hurt? And what torment he must be in not to be able to help us because perhaps, like the Israelites in Egypt, we don’t ask him for help, waiting for men to soothe our troubles. Or, maybe he is trying to help, but we ignore him and try to control our destiny. If you’re a parent, you know we are no match for our teenager’s arrogance, ego, and stubbornness.  

I have had this conversation with G-d on why good people suffer, and I’ve done so when I see children suffering.

But I wonder, would we have felt sorrow for baby Haman if he was hungry, in pain, and suffering? Of course, we would. But if we knew what he and his offspring would do to our brothers and sisters, what would our thoughts be? We would undoubtedly be conflicted. 

I have also imagined him saying, “Won’t you have thought I was cruel if little Ted Bundy had a deadly disease and you watched him writhe in pain? Won’t you have said I was cruel? But he lived, and you asked, “G-d, why did you create such a wretched being?” 

Now, hundreds of people are healed because the Ted Bundys of the world were labeled and studied appropriately with the best of psychologists, psychotherapists, psychiatrists, and neurologists. Law enforcement can prevent murders or catch one long before 20-30 people are killed. 

Instead, we cannot be grateful for what doesn’t bring us immediate comfort and pleasure. So, we continue to ask G-d these questions. And that’s because, in our limited thinking, we cannot appreciate the magnitude of what it might be to be him. I mean, how can we mere mortals? That’s a lot to fathom asking of ourselves. But it doesn’t stop us. We still ask these questions and don’t listen to the possible answers.

I am not saying that I’m comforted by this thinking when I see a child in pain or anyone. I am in no way hardened to it, and I do not imagine I ever will be. I’m saying let’s cut G-d some slack because while we have a hard time looking at it, oof – I cannot begin to imagine what he feels. 

And fair enough, it is heartbreaking to see so much pain and suffering. We are in our own little Gehinnom as we look at the suffering around us. But while we may not be able to make significant impacts on the world at large, he has given us some tools to help him out. We have gifts meant to be used to bring peace and love to the world. We can start by being better humans to the people in our homes and lives right now. We may not always get it right, but if we are really bleeding for humanity, we can only keep trying. One happy, good, compassionate human at home means a ripple effect of goodness. Like the bad things happening in the world that you cannot understand, being kind is an effect you won’t be able to see or appreciate either, but it changes the world for good. 

Teshuvah (repent or return), tefillah (pray or connect) and tzedakah (charity or be a brother and give back), are the only ways to bring light into the world. They are all in attempt to return to G-d, and it’s the only way to be grounded in self and humanity, and connect with your creator.

Let’s start at home.

The pain of a stranger provokes such anger and sadness within us. But someone whom we have loved at some point, we hate now because we cannot see the human in them to forgive them. And that’s fair enough, but how necessary is it to keep hurting them and ourselves by holding on to such anger. And how good are we really if we have given or loved with conditions and expectations?

Don’t take what doesn’t belong to you. It’s painful to the person you’re taking from and it’s a stain upon your conscience. It creates darkness within you, which spills into the world around you. Darkness within is darkness around.

Give to ease pain, to bring joy, to bring light and comfort.

Connect with G-d through prayer, meditation, being good and making a conscious decision every day to fight the darkness. Build a relationship with him – a partnership if you will. Let him work through you for the good of the world.

Hope this write-up brings you closer to him in a way that brings you peace.